Playing House With Finn
A story of the first time I connected with Finn
It was a week before Thanksgiving 2017 and I was travelling from Boston to Chicago to be with family for the holiday. My older cousin Tanya and her husband Ash hosted Thanksgiving every year and collected a bunch of single friends, cousins and distant relatives who had nowhere else to go around their table. My parents were back in Dubai while I was in grad school and spending time with Tanya, her awesome husband and adorable two kids was a no brainer!
When I rang up Tanya a few days before I left, she mentioned I might run into Finn, a friend of her’s and her husband’s at the airport. Finn was a family friend who I had bumped into a few times at gatherings Tanya hosted… he was tall, brooding, aloof… handsome… but… uninterested… in me… or at least I thought. I wasn’t too thrilled at the idea of meeting him in the airport. We both were taking our second flights from Chicago to get to Tanya who lived in the middle of no-nowhere-Illinois!
I made my way to the gate, dressed in a black t-shirt, black sweats and a hoodie, it was an uninventive sartorial choice to the airport but I couldn’t be bothered. I had reached the gate and spotted Finn almost immediately, not because I recognised him, but because he was the only one dressed in a white shirt with his top buttons undone, tucked into smart grey wool trousers. His legs were crossed reading a book and I could see his sleek brown, derby shoes bob up and down as he flipped the pages. Next to him was his shiny aluminum luggage over which lay his, once folded jacket. In a sea of gray hoodies and sweatpants, he stood out. I rolled my eyes, looked down at my outfit, hated myself and marched towards him.
“Hey!” I managed, wondering if the pitch of my voice sounded straight enough…
He looked up from his book and immediately shot out of his chair… and said my name.
”He remembers my name!” I thought!
“Tanya mentioned I might bump into you! how is everything!?“
I mumbled something about barely surviving my rigourous grad school program and finding Boston unliveable… I in turn asked him about his job… he was on his way to become a pediatric oncologist and all I could think about was how he was a handsome Indian man, who basically cures kid cancer… like he was every Indian mother’s DREAM!
We soon ran out of things to talk about, he went back to his book and I was left, without a book which I usually have on me, a conversation partner, literally no one to text and suddenly it hit me that I hadn’t eaten all day… It was 7:45pm and I was starving. I got up, told him I was going to get Mcdonalds and he looked at me for a good 20 seconds, as if pondering some complicated Math problem and then said… “I can eat…“
”GREAT”
We picked up our orders, I ordered the 10 piece nuggets and a coke, he got a grilled chicken burger and fries and asked if he could get a bottle water instead of the soda… I immediately regretted my 10 pieces of nuggets order… We sat by our gate and ate in silence until he started talking about being excited about what Thanksgiving sides Tanya would make this year…
Interrupting him I blurted out…“Ugh… I wish I got fries…“
“You were hungry!“ Finn pointed to the empty carton of nuggets and chuckled
“Haven’t eaten all day… I’m going to go back… want anything!?“
”erm no… here… take mine” he pushed his fires in my face and I protested but caved… “what do you mean you haven’t eaten all day? it’s like 8?“
“I was busy… “
“but it’s 8!… does this happen a lot…?”
“I’m a grad student working what feels like 12 jobs… ya… but I’m like a squirrel… I have staches of food everywhere… there’ll be like protein bars stashed away in the gym locker… my work has those huge Costco pretzel snacks!“… he didn’t look amused… he just frowned.
“I’m going to get you some real food… “
”omg no!…” I said with a mouth full of half chewed fries… he sat back down and darted stoic looks in my direction while I worked on my pitty fires. I hated him for all this fuss… It felt judgemental… I didn’t even know the guy and here he was assessing my mental health and eating habits.
The second flight boarded at 8:35, it was just an hour long. Finn had fallen asleep and I sat there thankful I didn’t need to make small talk. Still asleep, Finn sunk into his seat and his left leg touched my right. It felt heavy and I gawked at how much his thighs were bigger than mine… I wondered how it would feel to have my head between his massive thighs… breathing him in… having my head crushed. His hand slipped during some turbulence and landed just above my right knee and his hands felt warm. While I was determined to dislike him I couldn’t help but imagine what his hands would feel like against my body… what his strong fingers could do to my nipples.
My cousin’s husband had come to pick us up from the airport and I was thrilled that he was just a tad bit happier to see me than Finn. I was petty enough to make this a contest between Finn and I… him and his stupid tallness and nice shirts and judgy food questions. The night unfolded fast and marvelously; Tanya had prepared a feast… I was too excited to eat anything… the kids were excited to see us. Finn and I stood at the threshold of each kid’s rooms with the awkwardness of a couple who had just fought, while Ash and Tanya tucked the kids into bed. Us adults settled in to glasses of wine and conversation. Finn blossomed in my cousin’s home, he was so at ease and comfortable and warm… I realized that he was a completely different person when he was with HIS people. I didn’t mind that the evening was turning into the Finn show because I too was curious about his life and his stories, I would never ask him… my pride wouldn’t allow it but I just wanted to know everything about him.
That night Tanya and her husband informed us that Finn and I would be in the biggest guest bedroom since the rest of the guests coming in were going to occupy the rest of the bedrooms and beds. Finn asked if he could take a shower before I got into the attached bathroom and I gave him the green light, if anything it gave me enough time to find my bed clothes and unpack the rest of my clothes into the attached walk-in-closet. When he emerged out of the bathroom, he was in just a towel and my mouth dropped. It was the first time I had seen him shirtless, he had broad shoulders, large well defined pecs and huge biceps, no abs but a tight strong stomach with just a hint of love handles. I’m pretty sure I was drooling. I was on the bed folding some of my clothes when he sat down next to me…
“you didn’t eat much at dinner…“
”christ… not this again” I thought…
“literally had 10 nuggets and all your fries… also I was bit bloated from the flight“ OMG… why am I telling him all this… telling him I’m BLOATED while he looked like a Bollywood hunk was not the move…
I quickly got up and darted into the bathroom… I took an extra long shower hoping Finn would have just gone to bed… but when I came out… looking less Bollywood hunk and more drowned rat… he was sitting upright in bed… reading… he was shirtless and I couldn’t see what bottoms he had on under the covers… he gave me a half smile and I think I came off as dismissive but I needed to be in bed and end today.
The next morning we both woke up bright and early… he went in to shower first and I rolled around in bed… His side smelled like him… wasn’t sure if it was his shower gel or deodorant but it smelled a bit minty and manly… almost like the kind of generic soap they use at gym showers… the image of him in a towel popped into my head and I was getting hard… I pondered how wonderful it would be if he just kept his mouth shut and walked around shirtless… I was fully hard now… When he got out of the bathroom I immediately rolled over unto my stomach to hide my boner… he gave my butt a hard slap over the covers to which I screamed “OUCH“
”Get UP the bathroom is all yours and we need to babysit the kids while those two get to work”
I waited for him to get changed and exit the room before I got out of bed… I was still rock hard and went into the walk-in-closet to find my next change of clothes when I noticed the nylon shorts he wore yesterday in the laundry hamper… I froze… I knew I shouldn’t but I really wanted to… I picked up his shorts… I felt the weight of the scandal that would befall me if he were to walk into the room… so I closed the door to the walk-in and took a deep sniff of his shorts… minty… a mild dose of funk… “that’s what your cock smells like” I thought…
Freshly showered, and pushing all thoughts of Finn’s cock out of my mind I made my way to the delightful screams in the living room. My niece and nephew were climbing all over Finn and giggling. He was on the floor play-wrestling with them and I wished it was me he was throwing flippantly down on the floor… I’d let him pin me down and he wouldn’t even need to ask me…
I hugged the kids… and marched to the kitchen to find a note from Tanya telling me where breakfast supplies were and what to get the kids. I managed breakfast and called the kids over to the table. Finn came over to me while I cleared things up and I asked him what he wanted to eat… and instead he said… “Why don’t I make us something!?“ he seemed way too pleased with himself…
”eggs!?” I suggested
”How do you like them?”
”Scrambled!”
He deftly found a pan… foraged for butter, salt and eggs… and scrambled some eggs… He was at ease here… he had done this several times before… cooked for other people I mean… I wondered if he did so for the women in his life… one-night-stands? a situationship perhaps? ugh… a girlfriend?
He grabbed one plate held up a fork full of fluffy eggs and brought it close to my mouth saying “Taste!“
The man was feeding me!? I took a mouthful and managed a “mmm perfect!“
He then reached for a box of croissants Tanya had left out… sliced one opened, stuffed it with egg added some cracked pepper and held it up to my face…
I stared at him for a bit and then gave up and almost reached for it when he said “open up“
I obeyed
He delicately placed the croissant in my mouth and I took a bite… and then held my breakfast sandwich with my hand… he made himself the same thing and reached for some hot sauce… I asked him for some hot sauce too… It was a good breakfast sandwich… simple… but it was Finn’s sandwich…
He helped me with the dishes… noticed I had some hot sauce on my lips and wiped it away with his thumb… which he then proceeded to casually lick… I just stared at him… so blissfully unaware of the effect he had on me…
”I do eat you know!” I finally claimed…
”I know…” he said… looking at me like I had caught him red handed.
”I’m just… busy… I forget sometimes…” I further explained
”… you mentioned”… He was now looking at me with what looked like concern on his face…
”I guess I could be better about making meals for myself… be less reliant on Costco pretzels”
”that would be a good place to start…. ” he was now smiling.
The days leading up to Thanksgiving felt like a dream… While Tanya and Ash worked the mornings before their Thanksgiving break, Finn and I would tend to the children. He was so good with them. I always find it very attractive when a guy is amazing with kids. I tend to be cold and reptilian with kids… I love my niece and nephew but I think they respect me more than they think I’m the fun uncle… I think they love that I teach them how to draw and color, I don’t talk down to them so they like that they can ask me anything and I would give them an honest answer. In fact there have been several times when they’ve come to me with problems… sure they are 6 and 8 but we have deep TALKS! Finn is obviously the fun uncle, he is a goofball with them and I adore him for it.
Finn and I however did not have deep talks… but we still… somehow got closer… he was always by my side, monitoring the kids; when their parents relieved us of our duties we would go for a coffee run, he always paid… and remembered my coffee order every single time. He knew how I took my vodka… with a cherry lime lacroix… he is a self proclaimed music guy… he also plays the guitar and one day he asked me a bunch of random questions like what was the first concert I went too and who would sing the soundtrack to my life’s story… I told him my favorite song is Landslide by Fleetwood Mac and at the most random times he'd just pick up my cousin's guitar in the living room and start playing it… which did a many number of things to me. On day 5 he had made me a spotify playlist which somehow had some of my all time favorites in there and I was so moved… no one had ever made me a playlist.
Being in his orbit was intoxicating, It didn’t help that as the days went by Finn became freer with me. He’d squeeze my neck as a casual greeting, not thinking anything of it when my body jerked in response and pulsed at his touch. If he needed to get around me to reach something on the kitchen counter he’d move me to the side by grabbing me by my waist, my t-shirt would often ride up and his fingers would graze my naked sides sending shivers through me. He’d casually put his arm around me at random times and I’d just stay by his side not wanting anyone to disturb the little thing we had going. I ached for his touch and when he did, It felt like a drug.
On day 6, the day before thanksgiving Ash told us we needed to be ready to go pick up some food since no one wanted to cook. We were to be ready in 15 mins but we both needed to shower and Finn looked at me and jokingly suggested we hop in the shower together. The thought alone gave me an instant boner. He also still kept tabs on me eating… during meals, when we would pick at left overs or have snacks with drinks… he’d motion me to open my mouth and I would, only to have him place some bang bang shrimp or an artichoke dip laden chip in my mouth. I would frown but he didn’t care… and I stopped minding after day 3 tbh… as the days went further I got more brazen… on some occasions I jokingly bit his fingers when he tried to feed me… on one occasion I licked them… he kept feeding me… and I secretly loved it.
Sunday night post thanksgiving we made our way to Chicago O'Hare Airport. My niece and nephew were in tears and I was on the verge of tears too… the only silver lining, at least for a little bit more I would have Finn by my side. The flight to O'Hare was uneventful, once there we would go on our separate ways… we found ourselves at the Mcdonalds again… and he had to go on to his gate and I had to turn left to get to my flight… we stood there for a while not knowing exactly how to say goodbye… I struggled with my coat and duffle bag, I was trying to free my hands and figured a handshake would make sense but then his hand grabbed my neck and I felt the familiar squeeze, his thumb digging into the base of my clavicle. He pressed so hard… but I enjoyed it. He silently pulled me into a hug and since I am not a hugger… I stood there stiff while it seemed like the entire weight of his body was leaning against me. I softened my stace and hugged him back and he hugged me tighter which I wasn’t expecting.
A single tear rolled down my face and I quickly removed it with my free hand… the hug was over… I now faced him red eyed and averting his gaze and rummaging through my things looking for an imaginary thing…
“See you next thanksgiving!” I managed
“Sounds like a plan… I need you to take care of yourself…“ he said… my eyes met his… he was serious now…
“I will…“ I managed feebly…
“10 piece nuggets!? My treat!“ he was now smiling and pointing at the Mcdonalds in front of us…
“yes please!” I chimed
That’s it for today. I will write about Finn again… I felt like I wanted to just give you all the conditions and atmosphere in which we met. This is how it all began… my infatuation for this sweet sweet man. As always, feel free to leave a comment. Tell me about the first straight guy you had a crush on… who was he… tell me everything :)